Allotment update Apr-2012

Here's a pictorial roundup of the allotment at the end of April 2012.

With the continuous rainfall the onions are really going well. Are there a few Show winners in there?

Barry's not going to repeat the heartache of losing all his vine buds this time last year from a late and severe frost. He's got them tucked up nice and warm this time around.

How about that for lush rhubarb? The fruit tunnel is all prepared... strawberries are way ahead of other plots' offerings with plenty of flowers already, the fruit bushes now all repositioned, and the raspberry rows are all planked up ready for easy access.

The pond's been overflowing so no sign of any wild flower seeds germinating against the rock wall. Not much sign of the tadpoles either... of course there's now a lot more resident preditors to appreciate them. Otherwise the surrounding perennials and fruit trees are all doing well.

Greenhouse full of growing tomatoes, peppers, peas, parsnips, sunflowers... and more, can't remember them all!

A bit of patient waiting in the shed, with lots of seeds yet to pop their heads up... need more sunshine! And it looks like the cucumber seedlings may have wilt.

The experiment with raised strawberries at the front of the shed is doing well. They've got flowers on them too.

Linda's greens in the coldframe have come on really well in the last month. Had some of the cut and come again greens in the bottom of this image on a cheese sandwich for lunch... delicious! Radish in the top corner also fantastic.

Here's another part of the plot that's showing a lot of additional growth since last month's update. Lots of stuff growing in the flower bed.

Spuds are now showing and have been banked up. The sweet peas are really taking over, but not much sign of any broad beans.

Must seperate those lettuce seedlings soon. Leek seedlings starting to show, though a bit of weeding needed around them... better get those leeks from last year eaten up.

Finally, much of this bed is still reserved for tomatoes and squash, but Linda's used part to plant some more salad veg.

Rhubarb jam easy recipe

The instructions below keep it simple... no worrying about setting point, no shoving plates in freezers and little time spent standing over a boiling pan. And this is certainly the first fruit jam of the year to make... it'll be months yet before other fruit is ready. Why not try out some of the other Allotment Heaven easy recipes?

Typically the jam available in shops struggles to reach 30% or 40% fruit content so this recipe is especially fruity, with 66% rhubarb content... good enough to add to icecream or yoghurt as well as toast or scones. And it's so easy to make, it's daft not to!

This recipe makes about eight jars of jam.

Equipment needed

1. Suitable sized bowl and pan
2. Jam jars with sealable tops
3.Long handled spoon
4. Milton sterilising fluid
5. Oh, and a cooker hob ~:0)

Ingredients needed

1. Rhubarb, 4lbs (1.8kg), washed and with stringy bits removed
2. Granulated sugar, 2lbs (0.9kg)
3. Juice of two lemons

Method

1. Cut the rhubarb into 1in (2.5cm) cubes, place in a bowl, sprinkle with the sugar, cover and leave overnight.

2. Next day sterilise the jam jars by filling with diluted Milton liquid and place the jam jar tops in boiling water. As an alternative the jam jars can also be sterilised in boiling water.

3. Put the rhubarb and sugar in a pan and add the lemon juice.

4. Put on a gentle heat and stir to prevent burning until all the sugar has dissolved.

5. Turn up the heat; continuing to stir, boil for 15 mins.

6. Pour into jars, seal with lids and leave to cool.

7. Jars can be stored for many months, but once opened should be kept in a fridge.

Five Iron Blues

Not that I'm bitter or anything, but I'm still trying to figure out how a simple 5 iron could wreak such havoc in the plans I'd set for the weekend... golden plans with a sunny horizon and gentle winds that had me winning everything in sight in the pitch and putt, darts and pool matches laid on for the visit of brother Andrew and nephew Stephen. About the only thing on plan was the weather, much against forecasts of rain, rain and more rain.

Now, I'm not complaining. Not one to complain (much). But (yes, you could tell there was a but on its way couldn't you?) it's not right I should be beaten by my younger brother playing with the wrong club and a backswing looking like he's being charge by the inch. Quite apart from the deference perspective I've thought much about my backswing, follow through, keeping eye on ball. Andrew's effort had all the aspects of an unwelcome interruption in the general joshing and repartee that accompanied each competitor's attempt to plop the ball in the hole at their first attempt.

The whole experience has affected me to the extent I'll be trawling the charity shops this morning searching for a five iron worthy of accompanying my putter. Out the window will go three years of careful stroke development. Might also seek another putter... didn't exactly shine on that front either. Could tell fortune wasn't on my side; didn't get a single lucky shot the whole weekend! Lucky shots are an important part of my pitch and putt arsenal. I rely on them to demoralise opponents.

Nephew Steven is obviously a chip off the old block. Having pushed me into last place on Sunday's round by one stroke after I plumbed the depths on the final hole, missing a putt measured in millimetres, Steven thought it helpful to mention he'd only ever played golf four times.

What of the competitions down The Legion on Saturday evening? No happy news for me at darts, where son John and I, both at least able to hit the board with some degree of style, effectively eliminated ourselves in attempting to knock the other out while the rest of the contestants (including sons-in-law Barry and Chris) tried hard not to spear an innocent passer by. Success went to Steven, narrowly beating Chris into second place.

And finally pool. Must admit I was approaching this with some trepidation after Andrew whitewashed me on the last visit home to Scone. I know it's not much of an accolade to say we drew 2-2, but got to redeem what crumbs of comfort I can from the weekend, and Andrew's an awesome pool player.

Oh yes, who won the pool completion... Steven of course! He was clearly the weekend's champion winning both darts and pool, and giving as good as he got at pitch and putt in spite of lack of practice. With a fun tea at The Dolphin on Saturday with all the family it all added up to one of the best weekends for a long time.

Below are a few images and footage from the games.

Here's the hopeful competitors on Saturday afternoon at the first tee, each one absolutely certain of a spectacular win.

Steven takes the scenic route to the hole.

England (me and John) v Scotland (Andrew and Steven) score was 6-1.

With John and Andrew having the best round of 36.

Saturday evening, and in spite of the darts pot being in his eye line, Barry hits his double 19 and becomes a killer.

Darts won by Steven, runner up Chris.

John pots the black for the first pool win of the evening, over Andrew.

Pool result, and the winner is.... Steven! Again!

Sunday morning, pitching off at the first hole.

Fourth hole.

Ninth hole. No more footage from here on... just too painful to watch for your's truly!

Result for Sunday's pitch and putt, another win for Andrew, moral victory for Steven.

Rhubarb

Why plant

It's the first fruit of the year; try forcing and you could be harvesting in January. And if there's any doubt, think about rhubarb crumble, rhubarb jam... need I say more?

Rhubarb is hardy and frost resistant, needs little attention once established and the large leaves look almost tropical. Once established plants will happily go on producing season after season for 10 to 15 years.

Interesting uses

* Difficult stains or burnt food on your pots and pans? Try applying rhubarb to bring back the shine.

* How about an effective organic insecticide to combat leaf eating pests such as cabbage caterpillars, aphids and peach/cherry slugs? Just put some rhubarb leaves in a bucket, place a brick on to keep down and cover with water. After two weeks use the liquid as a spray. Bit smelly but is effective. Wash vegetables before eating.

* Rhubarb leaves in your compost bin aids decomposition.

* And of course the word 'rhubarb' is used by film extras to create a murmur in the background.

Origins

The Chinese have used rhubarb medicinally for thousands of years. It first came to Europe in the 14th century along the Silk Road. The cost of transportation meant rhubarb was an expensive commodity, more expensive than opium, cinnamon and saffron.

It continued to be used as a medicine in Europe as well, the first recording of it being used for food is in the late 16th century. In fact it was first cultivated in Europe at Banbury in Oxfordshire using seeds sent from Russia. Widespread consumption as a dessert and for wine started in Britain in the 19th century.

Health benefits

CAREFUL! Rhubarb leaves are poisonous.

Rhubarb is low in calories and an excellent source of Vitamin C, which is important to help support a healthy immune system. It is high in dietary fibre so helps to maintain a regular digestive system... in fact it's been used for thousands of years as a natural laxative.

Besides being a good source of calcium, rhubarb is low in sodium and saturated fat which makes it a very good food to help prevent heart related diseases.  It is also high in Vitamin K, which is, amongst other benefits, thought to help prevent diabetes.

Varieties

* Ace of Hearts... good choice for small gardens

* Champagne... an old variety that's reliable and easy to grow

* Mammoth red... grows up to five feet tall!

* Timperley Early... great flavour with early stalks

* Victoria... very popular

Planting

The best time to plant new sets is when they're dormant, any time between October and March. Avoid planting if the ground is frozen. Select an open sunny site with occasional shade in fertile soil that doesn't get waterlogged in winter.

Mix in plenty of well rotted manure with the soil so you create a slight mound. Plant with the bud just above soil level and leave from 2 feet (60cm) to 3 feet (90cm) between plants depending on the variety.

You can raise from seed but it takes a while. Much better to buy or scrounge a rootstock set.

Aftercare

Remove any flowering stalks and keep moist. The rhubarb season finishes towards July. In autumn remove dead foliage and mulch with well rotted manure or compost. Leave the crowns exposed over winter since the plant benefits from frost to awake from dormancy.

After about five years you may have to thin your rhubarb if the crown looks crowded and the stems are getting inceasingly thinner. Dig around the crown and reduce to five buds. The excess buds with roots attached can be used to produce additional plants, or give to friends.

Harvesting

You can force rhubarb to produce tender stalks as early as January. Just cover the crown with a pot containing straw and after about four weeks the stalks will be ready to pick.

Don't remove any stems in the first year. Allow the plant to get established and gather strength. Being patient will pay you dividends.

Always pull stems away from the crown with a twisting motion... never cut away.

Recipes

Rhubarb crumble

Rhubarb and custard cake

Roast rhubarb

Rhubarb jam easy recipe

Rhubarb fool trifle

Common problems

In the right conditions rhubarb should be trouble free. If you plant in an area that's too moist, besides the plant not flourishing as it should, there's a risk the crown will rot.

Apple of my iPad

Having lived with my iPad for a whole year now, here's an update on the posts I wrote last year on why I delayed buying, and having taken the plunge my my first iPad experiences. You'll find lots of info below on the best Apple iPad apps to use and things I've learned in moving from a Windows to Apple operating system.

First off, how do I feel about my iPad, and Apple generally? Guess the image above sums it up... I love Apple and my iPad. Yes, I know there's a lot of people who don't. People who think Apple are too controlling, not providing USB or SD card slots on the iPad, not enabling Flash applications. People who think Apple are rip off merchants because of their prices and iTunes arrangements.

And I must admit, much as I crave an iPhone 5 due out this summer and had every intention of buying one to complete my mobile world, the £500 price tag is causing me to pause and think. Better to wait 'til next year when my current Virgin mobile contract is due for renewal and get one for £30 or £35 a month, with a free replacement every two years, methinks.

So why the passion? How about...

It's so flippin' lovely!

The build quality is superb. One year on the iPad is like new, feels like it'll last forever. And it looks beautiful. Definitely has a real WOW factor.

It's always ready!

No more switching the laptop/PC on and waiting while it boots up. No more unexpected freezes when you switch from one Windows programme to another or try to print. With the iPad Smart Cover you just lift the cover and the iPad wakes up immediately.

Every update is free!

There's nothing to pay for operating system updates. Think I've had two in the last year, both trouble free and there's now no need to tether your iPad to a PC since it all happens wirelessly. Compare that to Microsoft Windows, where you get regular security updates which gradually grind your PC to a halt. New Windows operating system released? Assuming it's worth upgrading to (not always the case) you have to pay all over again!

Similar story with apps... any updates to apps from Apple or associated developers are free, with Microsoft you have to fork out all over again for updated programmes.

KISS!

No, I'm not getting carried away passion-wise. Just Keep It Simple, Silly. Apple simplify things really well. For example, got some photos to upload? Just insert the SD card in the Apple plug. The iPad recognises what you want to do, gives you the option to upload all or a selection, asks if you want to delete the uploaded photos from the SD card, then takes you to the album waiting for your next action. Want to enhance or crop a photo? Couple of clicks. Want to upload to Picasa? Another couple of clicks.

Yes, I know Microsoft lets you tweak everything to your heart's content. But really... wouldn't you rather have fun or be creative, not get knotted up about the colour of your Windows surround or whether you can just tweak that photo to get it from 99% to 100%?



I'm not going to kid you and say the past year hasn't been without it's frustrations. Apple's iPad photo app initially didn't have any crop or enhancement features, they came with the last update. And you still can't create folders to organise your photos. Initially takes a bit of time getting used to things like not attaching files to an email, but Apple's method of using links (e.g. from Dropbox, see below) works well and is much more sensible. And you can't send group emails and have to use a seperate app (see below).

I've also found the iPad keyboard a bit frustrating if used for a long time. A bit too unforgiving, no keys to move the cursor around, and after a while it's annoying to keep switching keyboards for numbers and other symbols. So I bought a TeckNet bluetooth keyboard that doubles as a protective shell for the iPad. Works really well and turns the iPad into an effective netbook.



So what apps have I found most useful for various functions? Here are my top picks...

Online storage

Dropbox has proved itself a winner. You get 2gb for free with the chance of more if you recommend friends or pay... unless you're going to store loads of music, photos or other files 2gb is fine. By storing files you want to share under the public folder you can easily send a link by email. Uploading is easy... just make sure you set the upload quality to original if you're storing photos. Really easy to find and view files so long as they're called something sensible. And many other iPad apps make it easy to upload or backup to Dropbox.

I've tried Evernote but had a couple of occasions when a file didn't upload as expected.

Word processing, spreadsheet etc

Bit of a frustration here. I'd love to say I wish I'd bought Apple's own set of apps... primarily Pages. Looks beautiful, lots of functionality and works well on the iPad. Trouble is, only works in portrait. So if you want to create a foldable A5 brochure from A4 paper (as I do occasionally) you're stuffed. Got to be an overdue enhancement.

What did I do instead? Bought Quickoffice Pro HD. Main decision factor early on was price, costing less than half Apple's equivalent. But annoyed with the developers. Their presentation in iTunes indicates you can insert images in documents... you can't. Neither is there any spellchecker, a big fault if you're writing for any length. An update did bring a word count, but in the twelve months since I bought the app there's been little serious development.

Don't try using a Quickoffice spreadsheet for anything remotely serious. I imported an Excel file and after a while found the data all over the place... appears when you insert a row not all of the data moves down one row as expected! And although I'm an expert user of Excel I still can't figure out how to use the Quickoffice functions. How on earth do you specify a range? I've given up and don't use the app.

Blogging

No competiton here... it's got to be Blogsy! It's the one area that caused me to hold off and think very carefully about buying an iPad... could I easily blog from one? As soon the app was released I bought, and the developers have provided frequent Blogsy updates such that there's nothing to match it.

To do list and diary

Apple have updated their iPad Reminder app and provide Calendar as well. Unfortunately they're separate apps, and you need an iPhone to use sensibly.

Wunderlist is what I use, and it's pretty good at focusing you on what to do today and tomorrow. Also works across multiple platforms, so I can view and update on my iPad, Windows PC or Android mobile 'phone. Also has a smart widget for Android so I can have today's list showing on the home screen of my mobile. Small gripe since the iPad app crashes too often, but not much trouble to open up and continue.

Note taking

There's some really smart iPad apps allowing you to type, draw or speak notes, add images and links and to snap rough drawings of circles, squares etc into the real thing. I bought Notesplus and never used it. Also installed some free apps with similar functionality and never used them. Used Evernote for a while (see On line storage, above). In the end I'm happy using Apples own iPad Notes app for quick rough stuff, and Quickoffice/Dropbox for anything more important.

Feeling artistic?

Yes, I bought Brushes, as I suspect many other new iPad owners did when they heard David Hockney sing its praises. And although I still have good intentions and feel I could really create something special, never had the time so far to get to grips with it.

What I am finding really useful is Paper 53. Uploaded it for free a couple of weeks ago, liked what I saw and bought the use of all the pen/brush types. It's beautiful to use, so simple as well. The watercolour brush really caught my eye. Uploads images you've created to the iPad photo library where you can crop. Using it to quickly create eyecatching images for the blog. Brilliant app!

Personal finance

Researched a few apps before plumping for Accounts. Simple and easy to use, does everything it needs to, regular updates from the developers, backs up to Dropbox.

Group emails

One frustration is there's no functionality within the iPad email app to send an email to a group. Fortunately MailShot does that cheaply and quite well. Just make sure you add the group you're emailing to as the last thing before clicking Send. If you insert at the start of the email, when you send it sometimes only goes to the first person in the group.

Social media

If you want to read Facebook, Twitter, web pages and other media there's no better way than via Flipboard. Beautifully presented in magazine format, very smooth in use, nothing gets in the way of a good read.

Web browsing

I'm happy to use Apple's Safari browser. It's also had an update in the last year. But I often find web content I want to go back to again sometime. If you've upload the free Readability app and added it's bookmark you've got no problems. Just click the bookmark and the web page is saved to read later offline. Another brilliant app!

The beauty of numbers: 1 and 3

The numbers 1 and 3 can mean many things... One and Three Chairs, a group of amino acids, the proportion of British workers who suffer from chronic lack of sleep, or the number of babies born this year that will live to the grand old age of 100. They're also prime numbers whichever way you use them... 1 or 3 or 13 or 31.

The number 13 is believed unlucky... there are 13 steps to a gallows and 13 is the minimum number of twists to make a traditional hangman's rope to do the job effectively. It was also the number of people around the table at the Last Supper. Happily they were welcome numbers for me this week when put together in the form of 3 - 1.

Been playing son David squash twice weekly for ages now... actually it's been a quarter of a century, ever since he was aged about 10. So with me on the fast road to velcro slippers and a high waistband, him in his prime mid thirties, wins for me are few and far between. Keep trying to persuade him to play racquetball, where my stamina has a better chance against his skill, but he's dead against it and to be fair he's now getting payback for all the years I beat him when he was a kid.

Was holding my own (almost) up to when he broke his leg last May. When we resumed hostilities in September the pin in his leg did slow him down somewhat, but he's nearly back to normal now. The lay off did me more harm than him.

This year I'd only won two matches so far, both of those quite a while ago, so I'm having to resort to adjusting the rules periodically to give me a chance of an overall win this year, or at least to keep some element of doubt in the final result. Now so far behind in matches, my current favourite is to switch to quarterly scores. That means David would now be 1-0 up in quarters and about 3 -0 up in matches for the second quarter of the year. Sounds much better than 21-2 doesn't it? And the inevitable result of a win for the year to him can't happen until the end of September even if he won every match from now on.

But back to the topic...

And with some style as well. Cue multiple excuses from David, the prime one being his racquet grip was worn and kept slipping about in his hand. Even voicing that as he came through the door for his weekly evening dinner a couple of hours later... doesn't make it any truer though!

Being ever the optimist, I see regular wins stretching out in front of me for some time in the future. The reality is I can't go on being the Peter Pan of the squash courts for ever. Been lucky up to now, most squash players' knees have gone by my age with all the twisting, turning and sprinting. No major bits have dropped off me (recently) so I struggle on.

The last 'mature' player at our courts was Bob, who still played into his 70s. Was an unreal experience to see him take on one of the young up and coming beaux. Stuck in the middle of the court with his opponent rushing around him, any ball that came near was killed. If the opponent had any sense they'd play the ball up the sides where it was some years since Bob had been seen to reach such areas of the court. But many's the time I've seen a young strapping player come off court with a puzzled expression, having just lost the match. Bob would follow off court some time later.

 

Introverts are the new red

OK, I've finally drummed up the courage. It's time to come out of the closet... I am an introvert.

I must say that feels much better. Why should it be such a problem? Well, extrovert is good, introvert bad, isn't it? The world seems to be wrapped up in a love of the loud, a love for interaction. Everyone wants to be gregarious, assertive and the life and soul of the party don't they?

Views don't get listened to unless you're loud and brash. Can't be a leader unless you're an extrovert, can you? Don't like smalltalk? What's the matter with you? And kids are taught from an early age that wanting to work at something by yourself isn't right; teamwork is the buzzword. You really don't want to be an introvert... they're antisocial, they're loners.

But what if you've always enjoyed solitude? Why are you made to feel guilty if you prefer to work at something alone rather than with the group? Are big noisy parties attended by loads of people really the thing, rather than a small get together with family? Why is it good to waste time chatting about nothing of any importance?

What's caused these sudden thoughts that being an introvert is not so bad? Susan Cain's new book 'Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking'... a book in which she strongly champions the strengths of the introvert. Many of us are introverts. Some of the most influential people who ever lived were introverts. Susan asks us to rethink what being quiet, thoughtful and valuing solitude really means.

She argues we've moved from a cult of character, where people are valued for the good deeds they do when nobody's looking, to the cult of personality where magnetism and charisma are everything. Workplaces are more likely to be open plan with no escape from noise and bustle. Leaders are picked from the more outgoing candidates.

But team work isn't always the best way to achieve innovation and productivity... sometimes being able to go away by yourself and work things out is best. And there's some research indicating introverted leaders are more effective with their extrovert employees, being more likely to let them run with their ideas rather than a more dominant personality stamping their own views all over things.

Most importantly she ponders what we're doing to our kids in school, where most modern classrooms are designed for extroverts... class sizes of 30+ in environments where team work is the only option, where the reward is for being outgoing rather than original. That kid at the back who hardly ever speaks must have a problem. But maybe that kid in the back has the most original, wonderful ideas... though a quiet voice isn't easily heard in today's classrooms. There's some evidence that introverted children are more likely to be gifted.

When you think about it, historically we lived in small village groups where everyone was either family or knew you from birth. So the whole community saw you build your skills and your value to that community was recognised. I suspect if you went around shouting the odds and trying to make your mark verbally you'd have been thought a bit strange.

But as we changed from an agricultural to an industrial society in the 19th century the population moved to towns and cities where you were surrounded by people who didn't know you. These days especially, when many people work some distance from home and may move around locations, many acquaintances are only fleeting and if you're going to make your mark you'd better do it quickly.

Is the explosion of texting, tweeting and blogging a sign of extroverts using multiple channels of communication to achieve even greater noise? Or is it a sign of closet introverts finding a way of communicating on their own terms?

Interested, but not sure if it applies to you? Not surprising if you're hesitant, given the natural tendency when confronted with 'extrovert good : introvert bad' to mimic extrovert. And it's not black or white... there's a scale with extreme extrovert at one end, extreme introvert the other, with most of us somewhere in between. Me, I'm about here...

And yes, there's a word for people in the middle who demonstrate both extrovert and introvert qualities... they're called ambiverts.

So where are you on the scale? Here are examples to help. If you want to try it yourself just state if you agree or disagree whether each statement is a good description of you.

Statement	Nathan	Beatrice	Dave	Spencer	Anne
1. Life & soul of the party?	Agree	Agree	Agree	Disagree	Disagree
2. Enjoy being the centre of attention?	Agree	Disagree	Agree	Disagree	Disagree
3. Skilled in handling social situations?	Agree	Agree	Agree	Disagree	Disagree
4. Like to be where the action is?	Agree	Agree	Disagree	Agree	Disagree
5. Make new friends easily?	Agree	Agree	Disagree	Agree	Disagree
6. Quiet around strangers?	Disagree	Disagree	Agree	Disagree	Agree
7. Don't like to draw attention to yourself?	Disagree	Agree	Agree	Agree	Agree
8. Don't like to party?	Disagree	Disagree	Disagree	Agree	Agree
9. Like to work independently?	Disagree	Agree	Agree	Agree	Agree
10. Enjoy spending time by yourself?	Disagree	Disagree	Disagree	Agree	Agree
Score	100% extrovert	70% extrovert	50% extrovert 50% introvert	70% introvert	100% introvert

Table courtesy of Wikipedia

Did you try it? How did you score? Add up how many of the first five questions you answered 'agree' and how many of the last five you answered 'disagree'. If your score is higher than 5 you're more extrovert (e.g. a score of 6 would give you a 60% extrovert score).

If your score is less than 5, count the opposite way... how many of the first five questions you answered 'disagree', how many of the last five you answered 'agree'. Your score will now be more than 5 confirming you're more introvert (e.g. a score of 9 would give you 90% introvert).

As an alternative you can try Susan Cain's own quick test by clicking Are You an Extrovert or an Introvert?

Introverts are the new red? What's that all about?

Red is the colour most favoured by extroverts and is associated with heat and power. Blue is more likely to be the choice of introverts, signifying calm, inspiration and serenity.

Watch Susan Cain's amusing and informative twenty minute talk on The Power of Introverts.

Read Susan Cain's sixteen point Manifesto.

Introverts don't like to talk. Theyre rude and shy. Is that right? You'd better read Ten Myths About Introverts.

If you're a teacher, are your views of quiet children who don't participate anything like this?

Of course my attraction to Susan Cain's thoughts has nothing to do with her article Um, Ah, Er: Does Hesitation Make You a Better Speaker... though being an avid user of the term 'errr' to fill pauses it's like manna from heaven. On the last six minute radio interview with the BBC I used a magnificent total of 72. Yes, an unbelievable average of one 'errrr' every five seconds.

Great tits

My sister in law Trudy is staying with us for a few days. We always have a good laugh together when she does.

This morning we were having breakfast. Looking out the dining room window I remarked at the number of garden birds fluttering about in the back garden, particularly a couple feeding in the hawthorn tree. I leaned over towards my sister in law to get a better view of the birds in the tree.

After a couple of minutes I innocently uttered 'great tits'.

'Well, thank you' replied Trudy.

Cue much rolling about with laughter.