Here's a pictorial roundup of the allotment at the end of March 2012.
Here's a pictorial roundup of the allotment at the end of March 2012.
Yes, it's heart racing, palms sweating, get that whisky bottle out time... the new 2012 series of The Apprentice started last night and my Wednesday evenings are now booked up for the next three months.
I really hate reality shows. Cheap, grotesque TV milked for all it's worth with multiple offshoot programmes 'analysing' the contestants chances, the results etc etc. Big Brother contestants generally needed therapy before they were picked to appear. The build up for The X Factor judges is unreal. And I'm still trying to erase from memory the image of Ann Widdecombe being hauled by block and tackle around the dancefloor on Strictly Come Dancing.
So what is it about The Apprentice that grabs me so? I accept strictly speaking it is a reality show, but for once the contestants are using their natural skills for a long term purpose. They've already proposed a business opportunity attractive enough to interest Sir Alan Sugar and his £250,000 investment. Over the next few weeks each has got to try and convince him they're the one he should work with because of their innate business and entrepreneurial skills and general nous.
So the 2012 series started with the usual descriptions of the remarkable qualities of each candidate... in their own opinions of course. How about 'I truly am the reflection of perfection', or 'My personality and character is once seen never forgotten'. A bit of intimidation from Sir Alan, a rough division in teams between girls and boys and they were off on the first task, to buy blank merchandise to print on and sell.
The boy's team got off to a great start when no one wanted their neck in the noose as the first team leader. They proceeded to produce a poor product of poor quality at an extortionate price to sell to tourists. Would you buy a small canvas bag with a picture of a London bus on the front for £15?
The girls team on the other hand had a really attractive motif of animals for their children's T shirts and bibs hand drawn by one of the team. Quality was great and they were selling like hot cakes. Off went half the team to sell more at London Zoo, where they wandered round together, three of them bitching about the grabbing of sales by the fourth. Might have been a good idea to split up and quadruple sales effectiveness.
As always, the scenes in the board room were classic. Members of both teams were extremely supportive until the result was known... the boys team surprisingly trounced the girls with a profit of about £800 compared to £200. Jubilation for the boys as they headed off to get legless on art themed cocktails laid on by Sir Alan. Sudden lack of mutual support in the girls team as it dawned on them they were fighting for their lives and one of them would be sacked.
Self style 'blond assassin' Katie appeared a cert for the sack, having done nothing at all during the task and putting up a poor defence for herself. But defeat was snatched from the jaws of victory by Bilyana. She's a risk analyst in the City of London, but clearly wasn't able to assess the risk of continually taking when it was Sir Alan's turn.
As always, Sir Alan was a master at putting the contestants in their place and building the tension. Can't wait 'til next week when they've got to invent a new household gadget and pitch it to some of the UK's leading retailers.
Below is a simple vegetable companion planting guide explaining why some plants help each other and others have the opposite effect. You can also download the document by clicking Allotment Heaven Companion Planting Guide. Read on below the images for more information on companion planting.
History
Although there's evidence of companion planting being used for over a millennium in different regions of the world, for most vegetable growers it's the Three Sisters technique of native American Indians originating before the 15th century that most comes to mind. Corn planted would provide a trellis for beans, the beans in return fixing nitrogen in the soil. The addition of squash would complete the trio, which by covering the ground suppressed weeds and retained moisture in the ground.
Benefits
What are the major benefits one plant can give to another? It's one or more of the following...
If you're a regular reader of this blog (thankyou! thankyou!) you'll know only too well I tend to get into scrapes on a regular basis. Whether it's going over the bike handles while trying to video my way home from the allotment, or nearly getting mobbed playing Santa to the playschool kids, fate often has devious plans for me.
This incident happened some years ago, and in my happy go lucky fashion I didn't think much of it afterwards, nor the consequences that could have arisen. With the passage of time I break into a sweat whenever I ponder how I got myself into the fix.
It all started quite innocently. I was working for the RAC and attending a meeting at the iconic RAC Control Centre overlooking the M6 motorway near Birmingham. I think I'd been there once before, so wasn't particularly familiar with the building. We broke for lunch and I popped off to the gents.
This may be too much detail for some readers, so skip this paragraph if you want. Still with me? Well, the big secret (OK, not that earth shattering I admit) is I always go into a cubicle. Find standing against one of the urinals a bit primaeval, lined up with several other blokes, dongles out. Inevitably a mental blockage arises and I'm still straining whilst all around finish and the next shift lines up. They must wonder what I'm at. Real hassle when attending an England match at Wembley, when there's hundreds of men rushing to go at half time, never enough urinals to cope, and I'm blocking one of them.
Anyway (and if you skipped the previous paragraph, Welcome back!), I was the only one in the toilets and stood there in my cubicle all at peace with the world. After a few seconds I heard the access door open and people come in. A bit puzzling because their voices were at quite a high pitch.
In fact they sounded like women.
In fact they were women!
With thoughts flying through my head at a rate of knots it dawned on me I hadn't been paying attention and had accidentally come into the ladies toilets. I was now imprisoned in a cubicle surrounded by unsuspecting women. What if they realised I was there? Quickly I sat down and raised legs so there was no under-door evidence to be spied.
After a few minutes they finished and exited. Or so I thought. Was there still someone there, quietly powdering their nose or whatever ladies do quietly in their toilets? Waited a while, still no sound.
Decided I'd make a break for it. But what if, just as I was about to reach the access door, more women came in? I'd be caught like a rabbit in the glare of a car's oncoming headlights. Equally bad, as I came out of the toilets would anyone be passing in the busy corridor outside?
Of course there was no choice. I had to make a dash for it and hope for the best. And fate, as she thankfully always has done up to now when she's been mischievous, smiled on me and sorted things out. I got out safely and no one knew any the better. At least I think that was the case... I've suddenly realised after all these years maybe the word went around and I was secretly known forever after as the beast of the RAC loos! Certainly might have lost my job if I wasn't heard with a sympathetic HR ear.
Oh well, on to the next mishap! Wonder what it'll be.